Cracked Mirror in Shalott Expressions of PosAutivity: #AutismPositivity2014

I’m going to try to be really quick about my #AutismPositivity2014 post because I still need to finalize a poetry submission for Barking Sycamores– a poetry journal by and for neurodivergent writers- caption a couple of wonderful presentations, and finish a post for May 1’s #weneeddiversebooks event on twitter and tumblr. 

This April has been rough. Between the negative messaging the public is getting, news of yet more deaths of PwD at the hands of caregivers, missing persons cases, and hearings on both electric shock adversives (FDA’s #JRCHearing) and police brutality against PwD (Senate hearing live tweeted as #EthansHearing) it’s almost unbearable. In times like this, I think that the effort that #AutismPositivity2014 represents becomes especially needed. It can become very easy to allow all the negativity to metaphorically carry you away, and remembering to stop and look at the positivity can serve as an anchor.

Today I was in a board meeting for a state level self advocacy group. We are talking a lot about what we are doing going forward. Part of that involved chances to let each other “shine” and ended up resulting in some really positive feedback even during some really tense times- we were able to illustrate to people there to support us that while we may all be people with Developmental and/or Intellectual Disabilities that we are all competent leaders. While we’d keep doing what we do even if we didn’t get that affirmation, it would be so much harder- so when we hear it when it’s about something that we decided on and did, it is a moment of positivity and pride.

At the end of last month, I ended up testifying about the importance of Olmsted to my state legislature, specifically about the Keeping the Promise paper. (You can watch the whole hearing by scrolling to the hearing from 3/31/14- I plan on creating a cut that is just the self advocate testimony later but for now…) There were some hard things about this of course- I had to fit a 20 page document into about 5 minutes, they had me in the same panel as a gentleman who was vocally against community living, and the capitol building can be sensory hell. But it was still a moment of positivity. While I had the anti-community living guy on one side, on the other I had two gentlemen who used to live in a state center (read: DD institution) talk about how their lives have improved since moving to the community.  I had the chance afterwards to listen to a lot of other people passionate about some of the same things I am.

And for all the sensory hell involved, my state capitol is beautiful to look at, and I could spend hours looking at the architectural history… if it had been empty. If it had been warmer, I might have gone out to the fountain and watched the water. That instead I crept back a hall way into the more modern areas of the building where the acoustics are better wasn’t a horrible decision though- I had the chance to see how the building had been made more accessible without sacrificing the essential historical nature. (I will note: if you use a chair and are visiting, call ahead of time. While the business areas are fairly accessible, they have a history of shutting down certain elevators if there are too many chair users lobbying or protesting as a stalling tactic. Shame on them.)

There are little essential joys through all of these- and some of those I only have as much access to because of being autistic. Sure, all of these can be experienced to some extent by anyone. But there’s a particular essence to autistic joy that I can’t really explain. There’s also the sense of working with other people with disabilities that is important to have access to- the solidarity and interdependence when done right is just beautiful, especially in the face of hard things. Being autistic has been an anchor in it all.  I know this might not be your typical #AutismPositivity2014 post, but it is true, and it is what I have for you at this particular time and place.